-I can’t eat unless the lights are on

-I have a huge fear of snow in late spring and summer months 
(I’ve had nightmares about them)

I sometimes drop Advil or food on the floor of my dorm room and think oh no the dog…then I realize I am in a dorm room there is no dog.

lol nice combo (first post was by 9gag)…

I’m too bored to do this essay, crazy I know but true. It is snowing like a crazy bitch outside, my mind is crazy distracted. So once again I shall procrastinate.

I used to think (and by used to, I still think) my procrastination was a bad thing. Nope, its my brains way of telling me to relax, slow down, put off what you can do tomorrow. Haste makes waste but all work and no play makes Joe a very dull boy.

Ok I am kidding myself a little. It is not good to leave things to the last minute because that equals stress, but at the same token its ok to create some shortcuts and allow yourself a few “fuck its” per semester.

Dear essay,
You win this time I will finish you, but as for the additional assignment i laugh in your face.

Not the wisest choice but its the choice that makes me happiest…and mama always said that was the only thing that matters (or was it straight A’s and putting my college education to good use?)

1. I won a elvis impersonation/dance off around the age of seven
2. With the exception of my grandma and my aunt on my dad’s side the only family i have (know) is on my mom’s side and its perfect for me/thats more than enough for me
3. I may or may not secretly have a guilty pleasure song of Hannah Montana on my ipod under the artist name “Three Fools”
4. I ended my first job in September and still am in there way more than I should be.
5. The only son and the youngest of three siblings in total, i have a nephew
6. Think the month of January feels like the second longest month of the year next to September. It goes Sept, Jan, March, April, May, Feb, June, October, November, August, December, July
7.Target, Rite Aid, Jamba Juice are three of the greatest things about this county
8. I’m occasionally too lazy to watch a movie (putting in the dvd, pressing start and such)
9. Bad things happen to me on the 4th of July
10. I’ve only thrown one party at my house and that’s all I will ever throw after how ridiculous the night turned out.
11. I have no respect for anybody who thinks there better than anybody esp waiters/cashiers and are jerks to them also tip your waiter well unless your damn sure they are being a dick
12. I can learn to love any music and am so open to music, play it enough for me and I will usually love it if not at least tolerate it. If you think my musical tastes are bad doesn’t bother me because at the same time you are criticizing a lot of what you like.
13. Cereal is my favorite dinner choice
14. I fall asleep in the shower in the morning….A lot (edit: not so much at college lol)
15. I got a low tolerance for things that are gross, a low tolerance for the cold (edit: yet i am now go to school in buffalo), a pretty good tolerance for pain, a fairly good tolerance for heat, and zero tolerance for the awkward situations my life is only composed of. 
16. I’ve known I wanted to do something with film at a young age but wish I wanted to do something with law or such.
17. No those aren’t my abs it’s just my bony body
18. I make a lousy delivery boy. I’ve locked my (own) car keys in the company car, missed an exit and wound up in Westchester (across the bridge from my town) and mixed up medication deliveries before.
19. Has accidentally been shirtless two years ago in high school.
20. I’m a way better cashier than a customer, and can tell you a handful of plus’ for fruits and vegetables.
21. I’m not crazy about chocolate and borderline hate milk chocolate.
22. One year I got about six of the same brand art set for Christmas because my whole family was under the false impression that I loved art.
23. I have my own ways of doing everything but usually has the same end point. I don’t hold my pencil like everyone else, I won’t take the “simple” route in standard problems and math problems rather take the more “complex” route because i personally find it to make more sense. Also if you tell me to take a left then just keep going straight to get to a destination, I will make two rights a left go straight for a mile, then take another left and get to the destination because it made more sense to me.
24. I’m so broke/in debt yet….I own a iPhone
25. I once feared a alligator lived in my pool/still does

….what the fuck.

I know its early but who cares about santa when we have easter bunnies like this.

I wonder how many kids pissed themselves out of fear when they sat on this bunnies lap.

Easter in December!

Today I ate a crayola macroni and cheese crayon. It wasn’t very pleasent if you were wondering and tastes nothing like and mac and cheese.

I want to say this is a result of finals stressing me out…but I know that would be a lie.

A Boy and His Goat: The Background Story of Phillip

On the subject of Phillip…This is true love. It’s time you know the background history of Phillip the hornless goat. It all started one night (cue the flashback).

Driving down the turbulent street we pull over where we see two plastic beings laying on the side of the street. Santa and the goat who I affectionately call Phillip lay there on it’s side waiting to be tomorrow’s trash were all alone. With only room in the car for one of them I saved Phillip (sorry Santa, keep me off the naughty list). I fed him to health and mended his broken horns. A unbreakable love was established.

You see I met Phillip at the perfect time in my life, I was still grieving over the loss of my Hawaiian cardboard cut out known as Monica after a tragic house party (worst night ever) and she got torn in two..decapitated! Then Phillip came into my life…I saved him and in turn he saved me!

This was only the start, our days would include hanging him out of high school windows to appear as if he is flying for a class. Running from security. Hanging out in mall parking lots (thank you for your kind words about the goat mr.passer byer in the car). He was quickly welcomed into the family and mended my broken heart.

I would go on but these are more stories for another day but I feel it necessary to explain who Phillip is…the goat who saved my life. He also inspired my upcoming novel A Boy and His Goat: Learning to Love Again

This is not the last you will hear about Phillip.

If I was somehow cloned or something like that and a another me spawned EXACTLY ME not a twin. All my features, thoughts, beliefs, attributes…and I went to see a movie with myself (which many qualify as a date) would that make me gay? Or….just conceited, or none of the above?